It’s Not the End of the World As I Know It and I Feel Fine
I’ve decided to continue this blog because I’m sure there have to be other spouses out there that have this issue in their relationship. People that have a best friend medeling in their marriage. The funny thing is I actually have a better than average marriage. My husband is a great husband. I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else. It’s just been this issue that’s driven me up the frigging wall for 11 years and I have my faults too. For instance I don’t have the most patient personality. I’ll be ready to leave a Barnes and Noble and my husband won’t be that will usually make me cranky. It’s something I’ve had to work on.
Anyway, when I ended my “friendship” with Amethyst instead of coming from a place of anger it came from a place of sanity. I also knew if I didn’t end the friendship that either she would or that we’d just stay in the same sick cycle of making each other mad and making up. I love her like a family member; we just can’t seem to be in the same room without disagreeing about something. It doesn’t make us bad people, we’re just two very different types of women.
I know that Amethyst doesn’t want to talk to my husband for awhile and I think that’s a good thing. I wonder if it’ll giver her space to see we are not the origin of all of her problems. Also I wonder if it’ll give Guy enough space to see that being that close to her wasn’t the best thing for our marriage. Like I said before they’ve never done anything inappropriate, at least not since my husband and I have been together and that’s been 11 years. It’s just that there were times when they were way too close. It felt like she was on my lap, or in between us trying to push me away.
For example, we’d be out on a date to the cheap movie theater right after the Christmas season, we’d just celebrated New Years Day maybe a few says before. We hadn’t had much time together at all since November because he was an assistant manager of a store and everyone knows what the holiday season is like. Well, that same night Amethyst wanted to meet us at a bar. We said not tonight and she yelled at my husband. It never occurred to her that he may need some alone time to reconnect before getting to her. The thing is, my husband and I can’t have a peaceful marriage if we constantly answer to his best friend as to our where abouts. As much as we love her we didn’t make vows to her, just each other.
Are all other opposite sex best friends of spouses this way? I don’t know. I’m not sure if Amethyst was so possessive of my husband because it’s simply her nature or if this is that way all female best friends of husbands act. I’d like to think they aren’t all the same.
I wish we could’ve stayed close, but not like this. It seems that the only way to really make Amethyst happy is to see her every week and that’s just not going to happen. I like Saturday nights alone too, and honestly it doesn’t make anyone want to see her any sooner when she has a temper tantrum.
Well, that’s it for now. I have a nasty cold and I start working (the doc said one arm only) again tomorrow. I’d better rest so that I won’t be too sick to do my demo thing.